I am just an ordinary woman, trying to live life in the moment, Juggling being a wife to an amazing man, a mother to two delightful little boys , working and running a household. - Am I superwoman - No, I'm doing what a lot of woman do in life- being everything to everyone!
I once was a travel wholesaler for the largest Travel company in NZ , In my spare time I was a Performance Neo Burlesque Dancer as Dancing is my Passion, I was incredibly social, I had a lot of girlfriends and I frequented the Gym and Vibra Training , Then I had my children, got married, moved to Australia and realised I wanted to work with children to aid in those important early development years.
Life is busy, whether you have children or not, it is. I am just an Authentic woman, who loves to share in deep intellectual, inspirational, motivational and organic conversation - small talk bores me! I am full of compassion and not afraid to speak about reality.
I got busy in daily routines - Only last year was I working full time , My days began at 5.30am, getting 2 children ready for school and daycare, getting myself ready , doing drops offs, working a full day as an Early Childhood Educator, my eldest having to go to after school care , so after work I had more pick ups and getting home at 6pm at night, only to cook a meal, handwash dishes - yes you heard me I didnt own a dishwasher! , give the kids a bath, story and , bed and then it was washing clothes, making lunches for the following day, tidying the house and then by the time I stopped it was 9-10pm at night, I was also studying and to stop at 10pm n go now I have to study - oh hell no! Id collapse on the couch to spend time with my husband only to fall asleep on his shoulder after sitting down for 10 minutes. My weekends were catch up days, - do the foodshopping, do the housework, study and If i was lucky we got 1 family day together - This wasn't living, we barely had time for deep conversation, My 80 hour fortnightly pay went to daycare fees and I brought little to nothing home income wise. Was that all worth it? Well I was doing it so we could build a house and create stability for our boys. So I did it for our future. However enough became enough and I chucked in my job!
I spent two months at home as Full time Mummy, and yes ladies I get it! I have experienced being a full time stay at home Mummy, a Full time Working Mummy and a Part time working Mummy and Honey - All roles have their challenges! I loved being at home with my boys, I relished in my time with them, I did miss being able to Pee alone and eat my lunch without sharing haha, but overall I loved it, even when I was a human jungle gym.
In this time I learned the importance of needing Self Love, by this I mean, being Me. Not just a Wife, Not Just a Mother but Myself as a woman and someone with dreams. I needed my "Me" time to be able to be a great wife and mother. Its like putting on my own oxygen mask first so I could help others. Selfish?! Some may think so, but healthy - yes I believe so.
I needed that half an hour to soak in the bath with a good bath bomb and a good book.
I needed to catch up with my girlfriends childfree for dinner and a wine at the local restaurant. I needed to re-figure out who I was as I was so defined by my roles in life. But that's how it gets right! we define ourselves by I'm a this, I'm a that, rather than by our authentic selves. I needed to re-discover my Passions, What made me tick. I needed to find me!
After a while I needed to still bring some income in, So I took up a job working casually , earning great money, and being able to do school drops off, school collections for my boys and being able to attend my sons school events. ( The previous year the guilt I carried from not being able to make it to everything was immense). I started work at 9am and got to finish work at 12pm only 3 days a week, So I got 4 days a week at home with my 2 year old. I got to do my housework and foodshopping during the week, so weekends were ours to spend together as a family, enjoying Quality time! I got to see my girlfriends during the week, with our wee ones, and I got to go to the gym again and focus on my health and well being. As someone who suffers from a trauma related anxiety I was finally creating a wonderful balance for myself where I could have the best of all areas in my life and I began to live in the moments and relish in the conversations, the people, the time spent together.
So what is the point of my Blog, I want to inspire others to live their best life, be the best versions of themselves, don't be sheep, don't follow the crowd with societal expectations and norms. Don't follow media hypes, just be you, because no one else can be you! Be Unique, Create mindfulness, live for the NOW! Stopping looking back at the past and bringing old hurts into your relationships with others, stop worrying about the future too much and just be, just BE ! Easier said then done right!
In my life i went through a MASSIVE trauma, ( but so have so many others) , I dont look at life like "Poor me", I look at life like "Look what I can overcome, look how far I've got just by being me" overcoming adversity, its a beautiful thing. I'm a big believer in everything happens for a reason, we are not given anything we cant handle. No im not religious, yes im spiritual. But I think even the hardest challenges we face , we go through to grow and to become stronger more self assured people. I feared peoples perception of me, I feared not being good enough, but i have overcome this. I know my worth, time you know yours too!
Love and Light
Ashleigh Kennedy
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